Here’s a quick test:
- Who or what do I need to forgive (be sure to include yourself)?
- On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being lowest), rate the resentment you feel towards the person or situation.
If you scored anything higher than a 4, it’s time to work on forgiveness. Why? Because when you are harboring unforgiveness, that’s negative energy that can create an energy block in your body. An energy block is like a clogged drain pipe and anything below that clog is not getting life-sustaining energy. Basically, those areas are being starved and you can end up with physical or emotional issues. Unforgiveness also blocks manifesting positive things that you desire.
My favorite statement about unforgiveness is: When you do not forgive, it is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It’s so true! You may be consumed with resentment and clinging to a comment or situation that happened years ago and the other person is going on merrily with their life completely unaware that you are still festering. So who is really suffering? (Hint: The answer would be “you, the one drinking the poison.”)
Forgiveness is not something that you “do”, it is something that you feel. Saying “I forgive you” does not make it true. I go into great detail in one of my online classes about how to process unforgiveness; I dedicate an entire class to the topic because it is challenging to manifest what you want when you’re consumed with unforgiveness. The easiest way to describe getting to forgiveness is that when you can think of the person or situation and feel neutral, you have forgiven. There is no emotional connection. Anything other than neutrality means that you have some forgiveness to work out.
In 2012 I had a chance to hear Carolyn Myss speak and she talked about old energy as feeling the need to punish someone when something doesn’t go our way. Whereas the new energy is about forgiveness. Forgiveness is stopping ourselves from retaliating against a wrong, and recognizing that what happened brought out the worst in ourselves. Forgiveness is about choosing to stop the suffering and to forgive. When we forgive, we stop an energy cycle of pain; we stop the fear of the ego.
So how do you do it? Forgiveness is about seeing the other person or the situation in the best light that you can, release the person or situation, wish them well (even if they hurt you greatly because wishing them well may prevent someone else from being harmed) and then set them free. It’s a great visualization exercise to go through and you will feel better afterwards. I tell my students that when they do this, they are disconnecting an energy cord that has kept them connected to the person or situation. So when you release the cord, do not be surprised if the person makes an attempt to contact you, or a new situation develops exactly like the one you just released. If either of those happen, do not respond otherwise you will re-establish the connection.
What are some practical tools to support you while you are forgiving? These are my favs:
- Crystals = a few of my favorites include Ajoite (photo), Apache Tear, Celestite, Cobalto Calcite, Danburite, Diopside, Rose Quartz, Sugilite. Obsidian Arrowheads are great for cord cutting but only do this only with a trained crystal healer.
- Essential Oils = Young Living Forgiveness and Release oils.
- Tapping = this is a great site to get you started
A word of advice … do not beat yourself up if you have loads of things to forgive. This is a big issue for most people, yet most people do not realize it’s an issue. So you’re already ahead of game simply by reading this. But then do something about it so that unforgiveness doestn’t away at your physical health, emotional health and life anymore. Make a decision to release it and then do it! You will then know that you have truly forgiven when you feel lighter, healthier and neutral.
If you have a technique that has worked for you, please post a comment and share!
About Allie Phillips: