I confess … I watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. (Don’t judge!) Although a vast majority of the relationships from the show have failed, and the 25+ contestants vying for love in a speed dating setting is a recipe for an emotional train wreck, I think many of us secretly (or not so secretly) love reality shows, Hallmark movies, and books that give us the hope that true love can be found in any setting.
With the latest season of The Bachelor currently unfolding with farmer Chris, I have found myself listening to what the women say … especially the women that are sent home at the end of each show. Here are some of the more frequent comments that the women have said in their departure interviews:
- “I’ll never find love.”
- “Why do I always choose the wrong guy?”
- “Guys always leave me.”
- “There must be something wrong with me.”
So let’s talk about the Law of Attraction, Bachelor style. In a nutshell, like attract likes, the energy that you send out comes back, and what you focus on and give energy to will manifest. So when I hear the women (and sometimes the men) saying things like “I’ll never find love”, they are making a statement from a belief that is sending energy out and making it true. Avoiding these statements is especially difficult for anyone who has experienced numerous heartaches, bad dating experiences, and has trouble truly believing that they will find the perfect match for them. We say these statements because we believe they are currently true right now. But saying these statements makes them continue to be true. So whether you verbalize these beliefs, or simply let them ruminate in your thoughts, the vibration of that belief is being sent out. And then it comes true and validates our belief more so.
So what is a tattered heart, especially for someone on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, to do? It is important to recognize what you think and say about your romantic past, future prospects and your ability to love and be loved. If you believe that you are not worthy of giving or receiving love, that you are too old/damaged/shy/etc., then you will manifest those thoughts and statements and that will be the vibration that you send out. My favorite quote of all time is: “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” So take some time to identify what your beliefs are about your romantic life. Write down everything that you think, say and believe about romance and relationships. This will be eye opening and help you understand your situation and to CHANGE IT. Then once you have those beliefs identified, change them with affirmations, vision boards, meditation, tapping, crystals, essential oils, energy healing, and other techniques to help reprogram your beliefs so that you can have the relationship that you desire and deserve.
So as we approach this Valentine’s Day, whether you are in a healthy relationship or not, work on yourself so that you are someone you would want to be in a relationship with is an important gift to give to yourself. And if it helps you feel better about your life, you can always watch the drama unfold on The Bachelor!
About Allie Phillips: