When relationships change

Choosing FriendsHow do you handle change? Do you welcome it or try to ward it off? Whether we like it or not, if we are not changing, we are not growing. So change is necessary to evolve in life. Yet we handle change with our heels dug firmly in the ground as we are dragged to our next station in life. That is resistance and is not a great way to go through life, right?

Relationships of all forms are not immune to change and will go through ebbs and flows over time. These relationships include family, friends, romantic, coworkers and so on. And regardless of the bond, change will occur. Don’t worry … embrace it!

Some relationships that are short-lived and are meant to serve a specific purpose (usually to help us learn something). These can be any type of relationship and when the lesson is played out, the relationship fizzles. When the relationship fizzles, it often raises concerns about “what went wrong.” Usually when you look back on these relationships after some time has passed, you may realize that the person came into your life for a specific purpose that has been resolved. Recognizing that can help both to move on without hurt feelings. So when a romantic relationship or friendship ends, or a job is lost, I tend to focus (and help others focus) more on the lesson(s) learned as a positive form of change rather than focusing on the negativity of the ending.

Other relationships are deeper and are intended to last longer, yet will go through change over time. We often see this with our family, especially our parents, where the relationship often grows stronger over time. These relationships are long-term to help support us through life-long lessons. So we may find that change and the lessons happen numerous times over the course of the relationship.

With the continued change of the energies that surround us, you should expect that relationships in your life will also continue to change. As we go through an evolutionary upgrade in this shift, or if you are actively growing spiritually, you may notice that some relationships no longer have the same feel or some people simply drift away. So instead of being reduced into a pile of emotional dribble, here are some ideas to help you handle the change of relationships with greater ease:

  • When you meditate or have quiet time, focus on the lessons learned from the relationship rather than dwell on why the person has left or drifted away. It is easy to get caught up in the “why” when it is more important to focus on the “what” from the lessons learned. Consciously and deliberately shift your focus and you will process the change better.


  • The crystal that I have found works the best during times of change is the Brandberg crystal. These crystals have a very high vibration, help you to connect to Source, they are attuned to the white flame of pure consciousness, are a stone of compassion, and excellent for soul work and forgiveness. They are said to be the best tool for removing attachments in the energy field, and this can include past attachments from relationships. I recently picked up a supply of highly quality Brandbergs from a crystal show that are available for sale. This crystal is simply amazing whether you are an experienced crystal aficionado or new to crystals.
  • A couple of essential oils can help with changing relationships include: Young Living Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Harmony, Transformation, and Ylang Ylang.
  • Journal your feelings to get them out and process them. Through writing, you will often find the message and lesson of what you need to learn when you go back after a few weeks or months and read your entries.
  • And lastly, stop yourself from dwelling on the changed/lost relationship and do not push the relationship to continue as it was. Focus on gratitude for the person and wish them well. Although you may struggle with this at first, in time it will be genuine. When you can release the attachment, you release the resistance. And when this happens you may find that you accept and understand the situation better, and the relationship may even transform into a newer and better situation.

Change does not have to be difficult or sad. It is important to deliberately decide that you will handle the change to understand the message and lessons from the relationship. When that happens, you will be amazed at how free and joyful you will feel. Then you will have gratitude for the relationship and can wish the former relationship love and light.

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About Allie Phillips:

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Allie is a unique combination of self-empowerment coach (Certified Law of Attraction Counselor and Life Coach), energy therapist (Usui Reiki Master-Teacher, Integrated Energy Therapy Master-Instructor, and Advanced Crystal Master), award-winning book author, attorney and nationally-recognized animal advocate. Whether it’s wanting more freedom, creativity, loving relationships, financial security, wellbeing, relaxation, or adjusting to the energy of our new world … she looks at each person and animal holistically and creates a well-being plan. She holistically combines these methods to help people gain control of their lives and to help animals live with comfort in our hectic world. It worked for her and will work for you!  She particularly loves helping our animal companions because for those of us who have them grace our worlds, they are our soul mates.

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3 thoughts on “When relationships change

  1. I have a question about when it is you in this I mean me drifts away from a friend & that friend is having difficult with the change. I have drifted away from this friend as our lives have gone in different directions & can’t seem to get her to see this how do I find a way to deal with this change as she does not believe in meditation or healing stones

    1. Hi Grace – Thanks for your question! When you are the person who has drifted away, your energy with the other person has changed (or the other person’s energy has changed) to where you no longer resonate. In your situation, this person has to find comfort with the change; it is not for you to find it for her. You could certainly speak with her and explain the situation, but that may not necessarily give her comfort or answers. The best thing that you can do is to consciously send love and gratitude to this person and ask they find their way to understanding the change. They have to find the way; you cannot find it for them. You could also forward this blog posting to her in hopes that something will resonate with her to help with the change.

  2. Thanks guess in time she will realize that just because we are going separate ways does not mean we stop being friends love your site

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